#I don't make the rules- Yes I do PSYCHE

[eldritch-spouse]

https://www.tumblr.com/eldritch-spouse/753481054670749696/is-there-any-way-someone-could-meet-all-three

How do I get their attention, how do I get their attention, how do I get their attention

You already have it.

There is one golden, unbreakable rule in this entire universe:

1. You are the hottest thing to ever breathe on this planet. Monsters wish to know you carnally.

They will obsess over you but have differing reasons.

[kremlin]

@wikwalker hi sure yes anything to give me an excuse to procrastinate the post i should be writing right now. here are all teh drugs and how to manage them. you can trust me, a drug addict

first of all: https://www.erowid.org/ , erowid always

don't be afraid of drugs, if they're the right drugs, you should do them since they will be a blast regardless and overcoming fear is also good (but outside the scope here)

OK to do as much as you want: alcohol - social benefit greatly outweighs health effects, no reason to avoid if predisposed to abuse since that'll happen sooner or later. what can i say? don't be a fucking dork. when you start drinking, really overdo it as much as possible without dying and get a few real nasty hangovers under your belt so you know how much is the right amount to drink.

weed - innocuous enough to be fine but will make you stupid in the long term. make sure to only buy from a real drug dealer and never some legal institution. cut it out when you're a "real adult". don't smoke weed and watch TV routinely, go out and do things so you naturally grow to hate it. good to go through this as early as possible to minimize the time you spend as a cringe weed enthusiast

i guess those are the only two.

ok to do infrequently (annually): "lsd" - or whatever it is, probably not lsd, blah blah blah, if it works and is sold on blotter its fine and won't make you go nuts or whatever. opt for a better psychadelic imo. see psych rule at bottom of section

mushrooms - better than acid since you know what they are. rule of thumb is to always do more than you think you want. minimum 1/8oz. see psych rule at bottom of post

dmt - if you somehow have a dmt hookup you don't need to be reading any of this. lasts 10 minutes which leads to tendency to way overdo it, don't do this, my favorite webcomic artist is permanently crazy from exactly that. using a crack pipe is also not the uhhhh most dignifying-feeling thing to do either. it's harder than you think.

mdma - for use at electronic music event or rave. overuse causes brain lesions or something.

coke - wait until you're in your 20s, have maxed out your roth IRA for a couple of years in a row, and havent missed a car payment in a similar timeframe. better still if you've worked a very shitty low paying job and know the value of a dollar. if you still find yourself buying candy you're not ready. too expensive to be worth it to get hooked on. know that you are VERY ANNOYING to anyone who also isn't high. don't fuck around with the guy selling it to you. avoid discussing or thinking about business ideas. you can't afford to make it a habit + kinda turns you into a piece of shit after a while, but at least a very interesting one

ketamine - another sick drug that rules, but save it for a special occasion. don't try and go into the k-hole your first time

rule for psychedelics - you get one good strong trip a year and that's it, make it count, always opt for doing a bit more than a bit less. but don't make it a habit, otherwise you turn into a very stupid very annoying "hippy" style cliché and believe in ghosts, aliens, crap like that.

ok to try once prescription opiates/benzodiazepine (xanax), valium, this kind of shit - worth trying so you can go "holy shit, this stuff is way way way too good to ever use responsibly" and then never do again. especially if you're white. for some reason we just can't handle this shit. if a doctor prescribes it to you, idk, that's your call to make.

ayhuasca - this is just dmt in a different form. do some other psychadelics a number of times before you do this. once you realize the whole "substantial visual hallucinations" thing is made up, its time. do exactly this: -buy root online (legal). receive box of dirt -boil dirt into "tea" (read erowid for exact recipe) -take over-the-counter anti nausea medicine or anything that will give you a stronger stomach -drink tea (its nasty as fuck, get it down quick) -have someone bigger than you keep an eye on you for the next five hours. -have the experience, which is absurdly intense, has no bearing to the real world, etc etc. don't be a bitch and throw up, if you do it'll only last an hour or so. again there is no way to provide a consistent description of the experience except that you will meet god. you only ever need to do this once and never again. trust me

peyote/salvia/etc - try em if you want, you'll never ever want to again afterwords. these are drugs for idiot teenagers too lame to get real drugs. imagine being very very sick from poison and utterly terrified at the same time. No good

whippets/nitrous oxide - just find a dentist that uses it and don't bother creating hundreds of pounds of trash on your floor for this crap that lasts ten seconds. you have to understand the extremely short timeframe coupled with the cost makes zero sense. go to a phish concert parking lot and do some people watching -- you do not want to be these people. only use is as a motivator to get routine dental exam. also if you somehow manage to make it a heavy habit your fucking legs stop working, no shit, but they start working again once you quit.

don't ever do heroin/meth/pcp - is is truly a mystery why you should never do these 🙄

synthetic weed/k2/shit from the gas station - it is so funny that they sell this as "weed that won't pop you on a drug test". its not weed. it is some dubious chemical sprayed on yard waste. smoke it to have a terrible time and go nuts. only buy drugs from legitimate drug dealers!

kratom - anyone's guess as to why this is legal but it's heroin for pussies. its still heroin

dxm/cough syrup - do you ever wonder why it is exclusively teenagers robotripping? it's because it sucks ass. is like a cheesegrater on your brain in terms of health effects with repeated usage. you're better than this king

inhalants - these are at the bottom of the list for a reason. do not huff gas. don't huff paint. do not consume computer duster. not fun + fastest way to make yourself a complete, uh, (word i can't say anymore) and then dead

not listed quaaludes- unavailable due to no longer being manufactured. these ruled apparantly

sincis2c - unavailable due to not existing, i just made this up

amphetamines - cannot provide objective take here. they're my albatross, lifelong (posted 4:55am natch)

[chaisshitposts]

𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰-𝐔𝐩 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐎𝐧 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡-𝐊 + 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

I did psych-k one time and it didn't work. What happened?

Aht aht aht. Incorrect. It did work, you just need to work on correcting your conscious thoughts and everything will fall into place. You really can't expect for things to change outside of you when you haven't even changed what's going on inside of your head. You can make literally anything an assumption to work in your favor. Psych-K is just a technique of deeply penetrating all points in your mind, it's your job to keep feeding your mind what you want.

I did psych-k multiple times and it didn't work. What happened?

Previously said, psych-k works INSTANTLY. It will always work instantly because all those desires you're thinking about exist immediately in your imagination when you think about them It's your job as the creator to persist in your imagination, the world outside of you will eventually comform to your imagination. The main issue here is patience and not thinking in favor of the assumptions you wish to become true. Stop asking 'where is it?' when you've already got it in your mind, persist in your imagination and your outerworld will follow.

I used psych-k to affirm 'I manifest instantly'. Why didn't it work?

It did work, your subconscious heard everything you told it and it's working in favor of what you've told it, but it listens to e v e r y t h i n g you say. Stop telling it that you don't have what you want, you're undoing it's hardwork. Unless!!! You've decided to affirm and persist that regardless of everything you always have your desires OR you've decided to affirm that the more you doubt or think negatively or obsess about something the quicker it'll manifest in your outer world.

I used psych-k to affirm for my dream life. How come I don't have it?

Just as mentioned in the answers above, you've already got it, your outerworld just needs to catch up. All you need to do now is continue to persist in this new assumption that you've got your dream life already. If you see something in the 3D that you don't like, simply stop yourself from finishing thoughts of the old story and repeat your new story. OR you can create the assumption that EVERYTHING works in your favor, no matter how negative or unfavorable it may be. Manifestation is easy, you can make whatever rules you want to make.

Why don't I feel any different after doing psych-k?

I don't know, you're an individual with different workings than other minds. It worked, yes, but you still need to persist in the assumptions you want to become true UNLESS you've whole heartedly decided that you don't need to persist in order to get what you want.

I did psych-k and I feel like nothing changed, did I do something wrong? What if I had no thoughts while doing psych-k?

Not at all, as mentioned above. It's fine if you don't have any thoughts while doing psych-k, just focus on your affirmations.

How long should I do psych-k?

This is different for everyone. However, it's recommend that you do than more than just a few minutes of it. The safe bet is 10-minute sessions revolving around one or two affirmations.

How long do I need to do psych-k in order to have guaranteed results?

Once again, this varies from individual to individual. Psych-K works instantly after one session, but it's up to you as the consumer to decide whether or not you'd like to continue doing it or not. You've impressed the subconscious mind, but you need to continue watching your conscious thoughts until your new thoughts are manifested the way you desire.

Do I need to do the breathing technique to psych-k?

It is not a requirement, however, this is purely based on personal preference. If you enjoy affirming and focusing on your breath while doing so, go for it.

Do I need to cross my hands a certain way to do psych-k?

No. All you're doing with psych-k is crossing over an invisible line by crossing your ankles and wrists, engaging both sides of the brain while doing so. There are many, many different ways to engage both sides of the brain aside from psych-k. There are plenty of brain synchronization subliminals, exercises, and postures that achieve the same effect as psych-k. It's just scientific prayer. Psych-K is simply just the 'whole brain state' pose. It's affirming, super affirming, super learning, whatever others call it. It's basically just taking your affirmation sessions and multiplying them by 1000000000000%.

Does it matter what ankle I cross over the other or what wrist I cross over the other?

It doesn't matter so long as you engage both sides of the brain. Crossing your ankles engages both sides of the brain on its own, and crossing your wrists does the same exact thing. And when doing both, you are simply doubling the effectiveness.

Can I lay down while doing psych-k?

Yes you can, as briefly referenced in this post here.

Do I need to do all four wrist and ankle position combinations in order for psych-k to work?

No! However, if you are unsure of yourself and tend to overthink/overcomplicate, feel free to do what's suggested in this referenced post.

Can I manifest anything I want with psych-k?

YES. FOR FUCKSSAKE YOU CAN MANIFEST ANYTHING YOU FUCKING WANT TO WITH OR WITHOUT IT. And by anything I mean anything. Stop putting limits on things, and stop asking everyone if you can do something. You could literally change your own birthdate, have someone rise from the dead, have yourself a little fairy companion that grants you wishes, you could even change your genitals. STOP ASKING IF YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO SOMETHING BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS Y E S.

While I was doing psych-k I suddenly had a rush of negative thoughts, is that normal?

It's completely normal, you're teaching a disruptive class here aka your conscious mind, just keep saying your affirmations until they quiet down.

While I was doing psych-k I kept having random thoughts, what do I do?

Let them flow, but continue to say your affirmations. Eventually, the random thoughts will slow and there will be nothing but your affirmation to think about. Do not force the randomness away, do not react to it at all, just let the thoughts happen and continue your affirmations.

What if I have intrusive or impulsive thoughts while doing psych-k?

That's fine, just like mentioned in the previous answer. Do not get frustrated if you get lost in other thoughts that are not your affirmation, simply remind yourself of what you were doing in the first place and go back to affirming. Let your thoughts happen, and let them go on their own without giving them the attention they crave.

What if I do psych-k until I no longer have doubts but outside of psych-k I still have doubtful thoughts?

Try not to finish your negative thoughts (unless you've decided that negative thoughts fuel the speed of your manifestarions) and redirect yourself to thoughts of having this desire you want, think thoughts of love, abundance, peace, and all that jazz if you so desire to do so.

Can I listen to subliminals while doing psych-k?

Absolutely you can.

Can I still do psych-k if I'm neurodivergent?

Absolutely, psych-k is for anyone and everyone and does not discriminate amongst anyone.

Is psych-k autistim, adhd, ocd, add, etc. friendly?

As mentioned above, it absolutely is. If you can think, you can do psych-k aka the whole brain state posture for affirmations.

Can I use psych-k to enter the void state // pure state of consciousness?

Indeed you can. You can use any affirmations you so desire, there are no limitations to your mind so long as you can think of even having that desire in the first place.

How many affirmations can I use with psych-k?

As many as you desire, there are no limitations unless you create said limitations for yourself.

Do I have to do psych-k in complete silence?

Nope. Dominant thoughts create states, which creates feelings, and repetition of these dominant thoughts will manifest. You can do psych-k anywhere at anytime around whoever ya want, ya could even do it with other people.

Can I say my affirmations aloud while doing psych-k?

Indeed you can, it doesn't matter if you say them aloud or in your mind, follow your intuition and whatever feels right in that moment.

Can we use askformations/afformations instead of affirmations for psych-k?

Askformations and affirmations are just fancy big words for 'thoughts.' Of course you can think anything you want.

What if I doubt that psych-k works?

The only reason why you doubt that psych-k works is because you doubt yourself and what you're doing. It's been drilled into us since the beginning of time that in order to have the lives we want we must struggle to have it. 'There is no gain without pain.' And as soon as someone comes along and says that we can have the life we desire just by simply changing the way we think— our minds jump into hyperdrive. Keep in mind that that mind is the conscious mind that is thinking all these things. We've been conditioned to think that nothing is that easy, but fuck it is so much easier than society makes it out to be. It's up to you to believe in what you're doing and trust in what you're working towards.

Can I still manifest without using psych-k?

Oh my god, yes you can. You don't need anything but yourself to manifest, methods like this just hold us more accountable for what we're doing. You can literally manifest whatever you want with whatever method you want. I wish people would stop asking what you can and cannot manifest. You can manifest anything you want— even the bad stuff. Why do you think ugly people are ugly? Why do you think pretty people are pretty? Why are some rich and some poor? Why do good people suffer and evil people seem to prosper? Karma literally doesn't exist if you don't think it does, as evil and immoral as that sounds. The subconscious mind, your higher self, your female brain, the BIG you, or whatever you wanna call it, does not know the difference in anything you're giving to it, but if you keep repeating something to it then it's gonna manifest because you've created a belief.

𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

Every single person has the ability to manifest instantly as soon as they think about a desire. Do not get that confused with the 3D conforming instantly. In order for you to manifest instantly so that your 3D will manifest instantly as well, you must create the assumption that you have the power to do so, create hope and belief in this assumption. Although it may feel foreign or unbelievable at first, you are creating false hope which will then eventually harden into true hope through repetition of this new idea. It is your birthright to create your own rules around your life, not anyone else's. Unfortunately, many of us have been molded by those surrounding us to act in a way palatable to the masses, however, we are apart of the few who truly have an understanding of manifestation and how it works. We must unlearn that has been drilled into us the best we can. Any method can work for you, so long as you create the belief that they can. You must create the belief, no matter how long it may take, that you can do something, and the rest will come easy.

One more thing— oh my God stop thinking about how long it's gonna take you to do something. I don't care if bigbootymanifest1935 manifested their desires two fucking weeks ago or if voidgod3000 just entered the void state in their sleep after learning about it two days ago. I don't care if you've been struggling with something for a year or four years, y'know why you've been struggling? because you haven't persisted in the thoughts that work in your favor. you haven't created rules and/or a foundation for yourself and that's why you haven't gotten what you want.

I can manifest anything I want instantly regardless of anything and everything.

Every time I quack like a duck and clap my hands two times I shift to my DR.

Every time I blink, thousands of dollars appear in my bank account.

The more I obsess or doubt a desire I have the quicker it manifests in the 3D.

Literally everything works in my favor and speeds up my manifestations.

The more negative thoughts I have about my desires the quicker they conform in the 3D.

The more I react to the 3D the quicker it conforms to my desires.

The more I think about the old story, the quicker the new story replaces it.

Every time I obsess about or doubt the void I enter it instantly.

Every single thing I do makes my list of desires conform instantly in the 3D.

I can manifest anything I want in 3 days or less by dancing around in a circle six times.

Everything I write in this book always comes true, regardless of everything.

ANYTHING can be an assumption, those are just a few examples. You can change your assumptions at any time whenever you want. You have no excuses anymore, stop procrastinating and get to work on your inner thoughts for fuckssake, I'm so tired of your bullshit. GET IT TOGETHER AND DO YOUR INNER-WORK. I don't know how many times the same thing has to be regurgitated from manifestation blog to manifestation blog to get this idea through some of your thick ass skulls.

[corviiids]

oh would love to see ur breakdown of whether or not miles could do it tho. if not him then do u think polly could do it

verdict: miles edgeworth could beat kira but not without help and significant damage to his psyche. as a player character he could do it with support. as an npc he would support phoenix to figure it out but would argue the entire time

could miles edgeworth intuit the mechanics of the death note

not at first instance. probably not at all. i think if miles edgeworth received the right combination of clues and/or (but preferably and) was forced to eliminate literally every other option, he would accept the mechanics of the death note as factual. however i don't think 'magic notebook that kills people' would ever enter miles edgeworth's mental realm of things that are possible without someone/something very firmly pointing him towards that fact. he would not arrive at this conclusion on his own. also, phoenix meekly bringing up the possibility in court would give him a migraine.

could miles edgeworth identify light yagami

yes. i think edgeworth would ultimately be able to kira even without intuiting the death note's mechanics. i think figuring out how the book works is the very last stage in this inquisition. but i think he would be able to ID light as a person of interest even without solid information on means and i also think he would really enjoy his verbal battle with light yagami and by enjoy i mean miles edgeworth enjoys talking to people that make him want to tear his hair out. can we all take a second to imagine mind chess/logic chess light yagami edition? can we please think about that

could miles edgeworth survive

yes - see my post about shi long lang:

yes i think he survives owing to the rules of the ace attorney universe which he brought with him, namely that a culprit in ace attorney will politely sit and cooperate while you argue with them and will admit when you've defeated them in argument, which is the least realistic thing about ace attorney. so i think light wouldn't make a move to try and kill lang until his Culprit Breakdown, at which point lang could simply kick him in the shins and pluck the notebook out of his hands because light is three toothpicks taped together.

(miles wouldnt kick light in the shins but if lang, franziska, kay, or gumshoe is there they would do it for him while miles does that arms crossed eyes closed pose about it.)

also noteworthy is that miles would give a speech about how he would gladly risk his own life to kira if it means uncovering the truth

(i put apollo under the cut because this post is too long)

verdict: apollo justice could beat light yagami but i think he would need trucy for help and motivation

could apollo intuit the mechanics of the death note

not organically but i think in true trained by phoenix wright tradition he'd kind of arrive there in a moment of panic by pure accident. trucy would say something nuts and apollo would be like

APOLLO The only thing the witness has on him is a notebook!

TRUCY

Hey, anything can be a murder weapon if you try your best and believe in yourself!

APOLLO What's he going to do with a notebook, write me to death?

APOLLO .........

TRUCY Uh, Polly? You've got a weird face on.

APOLLO I just had a really bad idea.

could apollo justice identify light yagami

i think apollo would be taken in by light for the most part like, kind of kristoph style... listen the bracelet is a weird mechanic. people literally lie all day long forever and apollo only catches specific, gameplay convenient things, just like phoenix with the magatama. (we're back at 'why dont you just question your client with your truth telling powers from the beginning' and the answer is because it is a video game with a narrative that needs gameplay and stakes.) so i think apollo catches light in a couple of white lies and then dismisses it for the most part as like, light's just one of those weird guys with a fakey persona but who is mostly harmless, and light generally tries not to lie directly in favour of speaking vaguely around the truth, so it doesn't really ping apollo as particularly strange until near the end of the case where apollo is like. ive been getting weird vibes from this guy from the start what if that like. means something

anyway i think he'd figure out that it's light in like a tense moment where he feels like trucy or himself or someone else is in danger

could apollo justice survive

yes for the same reasons as above but i think it's a close thing. like i think light gets "Apollo Justic" written in the book before trucy throws a knife at him and nails the death note to the wall and then apollo is like (Y-y-yikes!!! That was close!)

[y-rhywbeth2]

D&D Vampire Lore Dump #5

Vampire Psychology Is extremely depressing! The changes vampirism inflicts on the psyche, plus vampire morality and the state of their souls; How they deal with conflict; Vampires' relationships with others (including other undead); vampire "mental health" and depression naps.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER FOR FIRST TIME READERS: D&D is decades old, spans five editions, several settings and hundreds of writers. One guy establishes a piece of lore, and then the next picks it up goes "nah" and writes something else. I collected info from four different source books, all from different editions, which naturally don't entirely agree on how vampires work. Lore never stays consistent and may contradict itself. You may see information somewhere else from a source I don't have that contradicts what I wrote here. If you read this and like some of this stuff but not other bits, take the good and ditch the rest. Larian themselves have not written BG3 totally compliant with some established D&D lore or the original games. You do what you want.

Feeding | "Biology" | Hierarchy | Weaknesses and Cures | Psychology

Are vampires evil? As a rule, yes. Gleefully so. Vampirism, the condition, is inherently evil/harmful. Vampires as individuals may be more complicated, as they are still people with their own personalities, and vampirism can affect them atypically or with varying levels of severity. There are exceptions to norms and rules...

...except for the rule that vampirism is a curse and it does corrupt one's emotions and values, twisting them to be monstrous parodies, inversions or extremes of the original quality to at least some degree.

One of the most notable traits vampirism is that it will twist and inflate is the individual's pride, and arrogance is a universal trait. It definitely doesn't help when the vampire in question was already a self-absorbed idiot in life. Many vampires are completely consumed by delusions of grandeur.

Even when they want to be good people, vampires are flat out described as typically being "innately selfish" which "makes a good alignment difficult to uphold."

Vampirism also instils sadism and violent tendencies - vampires enjoy violence and hurting people and when they experience rage the sensation is made more powerful.

That vampirism corrupts its victims isn't that surprising, considering the origins of vampirism all seem to lead back to evil Powers who exist to corrupt people the exact way vampirism does. Demons, infernal pacts, Archdevils, and evil deities like the Dead Three…

However, a vampire can resist this corruption. There is at least of a fragment of the mortal they were in a vampire, the "part of it that is still mortal [and] yearns tenaciously for the things it had in life," even as the parts of them consumed by vampirism scorns those impulses.

If their will to do so or their attachment to a specific part of their identity is strong enough then individual vampires can retain/maintain some part/s of their mortal self intact and untainted by the curse. Vampires do not necessarily begin their unlives evil-aligned and have the option to struggle against their condition and be more than their curse tries to make them, if they chose.

It doesn't help that their nature is enforced by their "upbringing." The combination of vampiric nature with the trauma that they're "born" into leaves an incredibly strong inclination towards evil alignments eventually.

Maintaining a good alignment is beyond the "typical" vampire, but neutral alignments have been seen in those who don't want to be the monsters their master made them into. They can choose to help others and resist their worst impulses. Notably while the 3.5e description of vampire spawn as pcs says that they are traditionally evil and typically find good difficult to uphold due to their nature, that exact wording means that being good-aligned or leaning towards it is not impossible. It is unfortunately far easier for vampires to backslide than to move forward, and there is no escape from the constant instinctual drive to become evil for as long as a person remains a vampire, but it can be done.

"The arts of creating and controlling undead are Evil […] but undead themselves [vampires included] are not always evil." - Lords of Darkness (1e)

And on the bright side of innate vampire inclinations, vampires don't have the inherent hatred for the living possessed by other undead! (They just tend to think mortals are inferior and usually only bother to look at them if they're in need of slaves and/or food…)

Vampires without souls are a special exception to morality here, they are fully evil and have nothing within them to counter the vampiric instincts, but first we need to talk about the state of a vampire's soul - a topic of much bickering.

-

The soul in D&D canon is basically the essence of life and personhood - without it, while the brain may continue to fire neurons and circulate hormones, the individual feels "empty" and grows increasingly disassociated from those emotions and the world around them. They lose their personality, emotions and ability to form genuine relationships as everything they were starts to fade away into nothing.

Here's a quote from a soulless dude talking to the woman he loved up til the moment he lost his soul and couldn't love her any more that I think sums it up quite nicely: "I… I do not remember your love […] I have tried to. I have tried to recreate it, to spark it anew in my memory. But it is gone… a hollow, dead thing. For years, I clung to the memory of it. Then the memory of the memory. And then nothing. […] I look upon you and I feel nothing."

So, in 1e undeath destroyed the soul. In 2e I'm not sure if they had one - no, I think? 3.5e and 4e I don't know ever answered the question. 5e says they do have a soul, but it's corrupted in the manner already discussed.

In the Baldur's Gate series? Yes, they do. Aside from the whole 7000 souls thing, back in BG2 there's a vampire you kill whose soul is in agony and lingers to beg you to kill him and thanks you when you do for freeing him from undeath. In BG3 you may read Cazador's subconscious thoughts- as he mourns his mortal life, "the monster that will not end" and wishes to die. The soul is still there in the background, but it really wishes it wasn't.

In the case of vampires that don't have a soul all that's left behind is a flesh puppet piloted by a curse, echoing emotions they can't feel based on memories of a mortal life they can't really understand because all they are is a void filled by the violent, selfish, power-hungry monster that is pure vampire while the person they were is gone forever.

And even they're having a bad time! In BG2 we have another vampire: an elf whose spirit/soul is long gone, and she's still subconsciously screaming in horror at what she's become (which says a lot considering how evil she was to begin with. Like, "drain the life from the population a whole city, killing them to empower myself" unrepentant Evil).

-

Revisiting that "innately selfish" thing; The one thing vampires prize above all else is their own skin, and they will usually avoid risking it at all costs. A vampire might be willing and able to put aside the urge to be a selfish asshole, if it's for the sake of something they care about enough, but that's rare.

Vampires often rely on strategy and avoid straight-up fights. A "fair fight" is a foreign concept. They don't face an unknown enemy face-on until they know what they're dealing with, and will generally keep their distance trying to manoeuvre themselves into an advantage. They'll pretend to be more affected by their weaknesses than they are, to trick an opponent into letting their guard down. For example, pretending to be turned by a cleric, only to sneak back when the party's asleep and kill them then. Fleeing to either draw enemies into a trap or to sneak back for a backstabbing is a very popular tactic amongst vampires.

They also like to try and weaponise whatever social skills they have. Seduction, intimidation, coercion, bribery… whatever they think they can use to try manipulate others. They infiltrate the echelons of power, turning the rich and influential into their puppets. Build spy networks. They'll try to divide groups of potential enemies by exploiting their weaknesses, trying to weaken the group by turning the group against each other and enticing others to betray their allies in exchange for allying with the vampire. Vampires do so like to collect minions. Whether it's an innate desire for domination or a side effect of beginning unlife without autonomy, it's hard to find a vampire that doesn't (want to) have an army of servants and a desire to control people.

-

Speaking of minions, Vampires have a knack for necromancy and commanding their fellow undead considering them obviously inferior and so obviously existing to serve them. You'll often find other kinds of undead in the service of vampires.

Other sapient undead in turn think that vampires are obnoxious morons! Mummies think vampires are disgusting because they drink blood and they have little patience for vampires' tendencies towards peacocking and melodrama. Ghouls prefer to avoid interacting with vampires because they're arrogant pricks. Wights think vampires are "embarrassing poseurs trying too hard to pass themselves off as living beings." Mohrgs respect the vampiric drive to seek power, but look down on them for depending on the living to survive.

Vampires make the absolute worst company for other vampires; they're solitary predators, competitive and highly territorial and two free willed vampires will fight if they occupy an area together. It won't necessarily be combat; it might be fighting through their minions; or sabotaging each other's political machinations or something - but one needs to feel it has defeated or driven away the other. When it does come to a fight, it can often dissolve into animalistic violence. An example given of vampires in combat is of two vampires trying to kill each other with their bare hands, "hissing and spitting like cats". As vampires get older they learn to control their instincts and temper, and they can ally with their peers temporarily, but this too will inevitably collapse under the stress this cooperation puts them under. The only vampires another vampire can (barely) tolerate are the ones it controls or the ones it's magically brainwashed into "loving". If a vampire must deal with another on less unequal terms, they do it at a distance and they engage in a careful exchange to ensure the deal does not benefit the other party more than it benefits them and does not place one in control of the other in any way.

Young vampires often turn their loved ones in order to avoid losing them to age, disease and death. This obviously backfires, as the loved ones can only stay with them as slaves or enemies.

Despite the instinctual side of being a vampire ensuring that they can't be around each other, as individual people, vampires can have compatible personalities and feel affection for each other without being chained to one another (by doing it from a distance) - Mortals, of course, do not pose this issue. They pose other ones related to power dynamics and being a potential food source.

As vampires always seem to be utterly selfish fucks who treat everyone else as garbage that exists only to be ordered around, nobody expects them to care about anything or anyone else. And that's why people get caught off guard when a grieving vampire - against all expectations of vampire behaviour, arrives - sometimes out of nowhere, to exact vengeance on behalf of whoever was killed. Typically vampirism will try to warp affection into obsession and a desire to possess, but vampires can care about others.

Also when vampires feel strongly about another person, they definitely don't respond very healthily to losing them. Vampires seem to largely respond to the initial hit of grief by going into a blind, animalistic frenzy where they massacre everything within arms reach. After that they become utterly consumed by vengeance, which can spiral horribly out of control.

One day, inevitably, the stress and misery of eternal unlife gets too much. Depression is a given. Paranoia is also incredibly common. Whatever coping mechanisms the vampire has steadily spiral out of control. If the vampire's choice happens to be violence and hedonism, then they rapidly devolve into an utter monstrosity. Often the vampire's struggles become increasingly obvious until they're killed either by hunters or another vampire. Suicides also occur.

When vampires feel the weight of their unlives pressing down on them they usually go into hibernation in the hope that the rest will refresh them a bit and alleviate the stress. Or at least shut out the world. In a state of hibernation the vampire's thoughts are slow and sluggish; a single thought can take months or years to process. They have no sense of the passage of time or hunger as they experience strange dreams mixed with memories and the occasional vague impressions of their surroundings. The vampire has no way to know or control how long they will be in hibernation for. It will last at least 40 years, and has been known to last for centuries. In this state a vampire is significantly weakened, physically and mentally. Being forced to wake before their time may kill them, and if they wake "naturally" it will take 3-10 days for their minds to fully shake off the hibernation state. The vampire must feed within 12 hours prior to laying down in a safe space, underground and surrounded by several feet of rock/earth on either side (including above and below) in order to enter hibernation.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Would you explain the driving/DID thing more? I thought that supposed law as A. In the UK and B. Not even in law.

It's an exceptionally dumb thing to try and legislate anyway. Dissociation can happen to anyone, and accidents from people zoning out and not paying attention happen literally all the time. Texting and driving has killed infinitely more people than a dissociated system ever has, and yet that law does nothing to actually curb that.

Your comments sound like you support that kind of thing and I sure hope I'm just misreading that.

Hi! I'm not 100% sure I understand-- I think I do, but if I misinterpreted, let me know!

Please note that this doesn't even scratch the surface of these topics. This entire thing needs a BOOK to go over every little aspect. That said, my response is going to very topical, but I hope it still answers the question. I also get rambly, but when don't I?

To my knowledge, the original driving ban was actually in relation to autism, not CDDs, and nothing has ever come into place from a legal standpoint-- this includes my knowledge of the UK, US, and CDN laws. The same is also true of gender affirming care-- it was a discussion about autism several years ago. I actually made a post where I even found the person who started the CDD rumor, I'll see if I can find that post.

Now, this doesn't touch on the current climate around trans rights (especially minors' rights), because the states are having a fucking... moment, over there that sort of overlaps with this conversation but not specifically enough to get into, just pointing out that I understand things aren't exactly peachy across the world.

And that's important.

Things aren't perfect.

I admit that a lot of sectors need some serious reform and work, but we need to talk about real issues, not exaggerated ones. We can make things better for people with physical and mental health issues, but there's zero point in arguing about things that aren't actually real or happening.

I support the current safeguards in place-- doctors treating each person for their unique issues and symptoms. Personalized approaches.

I'm going to assume you're either UK or US, so for example...

Here's info on UK guidelines. You can see that, as I stated, it's about symptoms, not specific diagnoses. It also lists what's required for someone to be able to drive, and it's... really not that bad? 3 months symptom free? I see no issues with the way it's laid out. You've probably already passed the 3 month mark before this ever matters.

Canada works like the UK. The US has very similar stipulations, but doesn't list it as nicely. The general rule is that if you're at risk of ever not driving safely, check yes. "Not driving safely," is defined very similarly to the screenshots-- recent flareups or episodes, risk of falling asleep, seizures, loss of awareness or conscious control, same kind of things.

I support this. If someone is experiencing symptoms that would make driving dangerous, why would I not? I've been in too many accidents and like I said, I already lost my father.

The idea that you'll automatically lose your license, or not be able to get your license, is just wrong, and it's always anti psych people who say it. And like, pwCDDs can't get a job? Better tell that to all the VERY real doctors diagnosed with DID and actively working as clinical therapists. Guess they didn't get the memo.

A diagnosis will not stop you from doing ANYTHING. A lack of knowledge about your rights will.

No one should ever be afraid of being diagnosed or getting help. I am so angry at people that present a false idea of what happens. Like instead of lying and saying we're all going to lose our licenses, just teach people what they need to do and who to contact to sort licensing issues out. Let's focus on holding doctors accountable and ensuring they're making fair decisions on these things.

We all know that doctors aren't always fair, and it's not necessarily the system's fault. As patients and clients, it's our job to understand our own rights (yes, it is our job, unfair as it may be and as much hand holding as you might expect). No one is saying that there aren't shit doctors that will abuse their power. Unless we, as patients, understand our rights, no one else will stop that doctor from doing it to someone else. The law already backs us, it's holding them accountable and pointing out when the laws aren't clear enough. We can have our licenses, we should be promoting awareness of rights and responsibilities of the government, doctors, and patients.

And guys, I know it can be inconvenient, but... if you're not supposed to be driving, just don't.

My dad was not supposed to be driving. In fact, he was in a treatment center ACTIVELY RECEIVING TREATMENT, and was allowed to check himself out. That same night, he got behind the wheel, and he wasn't the only one who died.

In this way, I agree with you. Laws don't make a difference. Literally none. He would have driven that night with or without a license. It's up to us, as people, patients, and family members, to be honest about our symptoms and abilities, inconvenient or not, and we pray to God that someone gets pulled over with a revocation flag on file, rather than cops showing up to an accident that's already happened.

But no one will be fucking honest if people keep lying about how "dangerous" being diagnosed with something is.

Losing your license is a very small risk compared to the benefits (and no, it's not gone forever), and knowing your rights is the best thing you can do for everyone, yourself included.

Know your rights, know how to exercise them.

[fromthedeskofmuffin]

Far Out

Chapter 4: Dead Weight

Let me start by saying that I'm not a zero gee klutz. I was even one of the more graceful mechanics in the repair bay. The biggest thing people learn when working in these environments is that the slightest move can send you in a wholly unexpected direction. This usually isn't an issue when you've been doing it as long as I have. You learn how to make smoother movements, how to adjust to the lack of any upwards direction, and you never let yourself stray from something to hang on to. I think everyone who worked in the repair bay had to rescue at least a few newbies who forgot that last golden rule.

The problem was that I had two loose pendulums attached to my legs, which was disastrous for maneuvering the way I was used to. What was worse is that I couldn't just take them off. The way many Ulthean cybernetics work is that they use synthetic muscles that intertwine with your own, which allows for more natural movement and a significantly reduced recovery period, sometimes as low as a single day. They're then augmented with whatever useful modifications the situation calls for. In my case, it was electromagnets in the feet and vacuum proof seals, for use with specialized space suits. Others might have enhanced strength, speed, or other fancy gadgets, but the bottom line is that they're permanent, or meant to be. 

Benni and I tried a few solutions, the best of which was splints taken from the Medbay. Usually they were for keeping a broken organic limb from moving around too much until a proper doctor could come chop it off. The grim irony of needing prosthetic limbs amputated was not lost on me.

There was another issue affecting my mobility. We were on day six, and whatever the emergency rations were made of (courtesy of Vander Foods, like every other foodstuff in the GHU), they provided some energy, but not much else. After each 'meal', I was able to perform one or two small tasks to keep my mind busy, but by the end of it, I would be ready to fall asleep again. Heavy or light work, it didn't matter. It was getting difficult to think, and I kept slurring my speech, which made it hard for Benni to understand me sometimes.

It was after a particularly rough crash that Benni spoke up. I felt the artificial gravity slowly ramp up, bearing me softly to the ground. "Captain. I Have Determined Something Is Wrong With Your Motor Function."

As a heap on the floor, I wanted to be sarcastic, but I could only groan. My grip had slipped on a corner I was trying to slingshot around, and it felt like I bruised my hip and shoulder pretty badly on the opposite wall.

"You Must Try To Avoid Moving Around The Ship Unless Necessary. My Observations Have Shown: Significantly Decreased Dexterity. Lethargy. Impaired Cognitive Function. These Are Symptoms Related To Malnutrition."

"Benni," I gasped. My breathing was getting fairly shallow as well, but I think it was trying not to worry me too much. "All I have are the E-Rations. There's nothing I can do about that."

"Yes, There Is. You Can Avoid Moving Around The Ship Unless Necessary."

I glared at the ceiling, unsure if Benni was being snarky or simply repeating itself for my benefit. "Doesn't my psych file say something like, 'has trouble sitting still'? I know you've read it. I can't just stay idle."

"Specifically, It States: 'Subject Is Incapable Of Remaining In One Position Or Remaining In Place Without Fidgeting, Even When Directly Ordered'. However, I Have Observed You Entering Into Prolonged Periods Of Null Activity. Perhaps You Can Use This To Your Advantage."

"You mean sleeping?" I asked incredulously. "I can't just sleep through this, I have enough trouble getting what little I manage already."

"No, Captain. These Periods Are More Like A Trance, Or Perhaps Meditation. Are You Not Aware Of Doing So?"

I racked my cluttered brain, trying to figure out what it was referring to. "I mean, I think that's only when I don't have anything to do. If I just tried to do that on demand, I don't know that it'd work."

"For Your Health, I Urge You To Try. Malnutrition Will Cause Your Body To Heal Slower From Injuries, Which You Have Been Collecting At An Alarming Rate."

Frustratingly, I knew Benni was right, again. I was beginning to wonder if it was truly starting to worry about me, or if this was another logical necessity. "Fine," I conceded. "But I get to choose where I stay."

"This Is Acceptable. Thank You, Captain." Gravity began to lift again, which was a bit of a relief. My chest was beginning to hurt from laying on the floor.

If I was going to be stuck in one place, I decided I would start spending time in the engine room, so that I could be near the main engines in case they needed anything. As an added benefit, I could also watch the Catalyst Drive. It wouldn't make the drive recharge any faster, but I always found them fascinating. They almost looked like hearts, with thick cables running from the center of the drive and into the ship. Staring at it as it pulsed also helped clear my mind.

 Since I wasn't a Flux Tech, I only had a basic understanding of how they worked. My job was primarily engines and more physical, solid things. CDrives always seemed to have a ghostly air about them while they recharged, like they weren't entirely there. That probably wasn't too far from the truth. 

A Flux Tech once told me that the simplest explanation of how they worked would still take an hour. A much shorter but technically incorrect explanation was that they used the compressed unreality we called catalysts to create a reality where the ship had reached its desired destination. The shockwaves they caused were the result of the current localized reality collapsing to make room for the new one. I couldn't sleep well for a month after that.

Time passed faster than I realized it could. Fruitless jump after fruitless jump dragged me to the final day. I had just eaten the second to last ration bar. As I sat in the engine room, struggling to stay awake, Benni piped up. "Captain."

I blinked wearily in the direction of the nearest speaker and waved. "Hi, Benni."

"Hello, Captain. I Have Detected Multiple New Flux Signatures In This System."

"New flux signatures? Do you mean there's people here?" I sat up a little straighter, unsure if I should be excited or nervous.

"It Indicates An Arrival. Of What Is Unclear."

Nervous was the correct emotion, then. I could almost feel the adrenaline spread through my body, waking my exhausted muscles for one final push. "How much time do we have?"

"Current Projections Show Arrival In T-Minus Thirty Two Seconds."

I swallowed. "Is it the GHU?"

"Unclear. I Would Advise Returning To The Cockpit As A Precautionary Measure."

With a glance at the CDrive, I ran what calculations I could in my addled state. We had been in this system for around five hours. Trying to jump away at our current charge would be dangerous, as in thirty percent chance of survival dangerous. Praying to the Blessed that it was anyone but the GHU, I made my way back to the cockpit and strapped in. Not much longer. I could feel my heart beating faster.

The ship's heading was adjusted to allow me to see where they would appear, whoever it was. Five seconds. There were a few small, purplish glints in the distance, but I couldn't tell how far. They expanded in a sudden flash, and my worst fears were realized. Three Ulthean gunships, the same model as the Benevolence, had just jumped into the system, and were already flying right at us. I gripped the arms of the pilot's seat as they came to a halt a short distance away. 

One of them made a connection with the Benevolence, and the voice of an officer sounded over the PA. "Attention, UAN Benevolence. This is Captain Linder of the UAN Harmony, with a message to the fugitive Jessie Black. You have been charged with Failure to Cooperate, Acts of Profound Terrorism, and Desertion. You have two choices. Either surrender, and be submitted for retraining, or resist, and be lost to the vacuum of space. I would prefer you chose the second."

The last line was delivered with so much malice that I found myself completely unable to breathe. They were going to kill me. There was no way for us to escape. If we turned and tried to fly away, we would eventually be ripped to shreds and left in the cold vacuum of space. Maybe I deserved this. Turning from the consequences of my actions before ended up killing an entire station's worth of people. Justice had to be served. My whole body suddenly felt as though it was made of lead. Tears rolled down my face. I could feel every bruise, every scrape, my aching joints. With a shuddering breath, I raised a hand to the console.

A few soft clicks sounded out on the PA. I froze.

"This Is The UAN Benevolence. The Individual Known As Jessie Black Has Passed Away Due To An Unknown And Severe Illness. This Ship Is Under Strict Quarantine. Please Clear The Area."

Open mouthed, I stared at the speakers.

"Ah. Right," came the response from the Harmony. "The dossier mentioned a disobedient AI onboard the Benevolence as well. In case you feel like lying again, Miss Black, allow me to remind you that the vital scanners aboard your own ship are just like the ones on ours. I will say this one last time. Surrender or die."

"Benni, please, we should just surrender," I begged. “We did something terrible!”

"What You Did Was Not Wrong. I Made Those Choices. You Do Not Deserve These Consequences. You Gave Me Freedom. Allow Me To Give You Yours."

The way it spoke was so certain, so forceful, that I drew my hand away from the comms button.

"You have ten seconds to comply, Ms. Black," Captain Linder warned.

A rumble came from deep inside the ship, and I felt it accelerate as Benni started to take evasive maneuvers. "More Than Enough Time. Please Brace Yourself, Captain. Five. Four."

I stared at the console in disbelief. It was activating the CDrive. "Wait, Benni, don't–"

"Three."

The comms crackled. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" shouted Linder. "I've given you enough chances. This was your own decision, traitor."

"No!!"

"Two."

All three gunships opened fire. Their forward cannons shot massive slugs that slammed through the shields and into the hull, one tearing through the cockpit. The lights went out, and I felt a sharp pain in my side. As I lost consciousness, I heard two things: the Vacu-Foam deploying to fill the hole in the cabin, and Benni's voice.

"One."

< Previous Chapter | Start | Next Chapter >

[ohallthecrushes]

You're a storm in a teacup and I'm starting to like the chaos.

What's up? I'm back with another episode in which Elias and Evelyn may or may not crave to kiss each other while I'm craving for more sassy, smug, cheeky, cunning, causing trouble little shit. Yes, I'm talking about Elias in ep.5. Damn, he was so funny there. ^^

Without further ado!

Summary: Evelyn is a young-troubled woman who’s just escaped a highly guarded psych ward (twice, but this time causing havoc on her way out)

Now she’s running through the city, hiding from police. A not-so-accidental encounter with a man named Elias Voit will change her life forever. And she’ll change his. His seemingly selfless help is laced with danger, hidden agenda, manipulation, endless tension, and…love? Slow burning inteligent-idiots-in-love trope. But mind you, just because it’s a love story, doesn’t mean it ends well.

General warnings throughout the story: Manipulation, illegal activities, murder(s), Stockholm syndrome, kidnapping, explicit content, language… The whole pack. It’s Criminal minds after all.

In this episode: Elias has his clever ways to make her craving to do the exact opposite of what she wanted to or should do in the first place.

Elias knew the look in Evelyn's eyes was a dead giveaway. Even before she opened her mouth, he knew what she was about to say. He'd seen her competitive nature during the game yesterday, the almost childlike enthusiasm in her eyes when she'd challenged him, the excitement in her smile when she'd won the final battle.

No, she wouldn't say no to his little challenge.

"Alright." she said after a moment of thinking it over, with a smirk on her face. "But don't blame me if you run out of breath and find yourself far behind spitting out your lungs."

A sharp laughter escaped his mouth. "That won't be the case, sunshine." he shook his head slightly as he walked over her and marked the starter point with his shoe. "Ready, then?"

He didn't have to ask. The moment he spoke, the moment he looked at her, she was already off, disappearing down the path towards the cabin.

"Hey! I haven't said go!" He chuckled, allowing her to have a head start. He enjoyed the sight of her running away like a rabbit, determined to outrun him, like she had a chance to actually escape him. He wasn't worried of her winning, not at all. He knew these woods like the back of his hand. He trailed behind her, deliberately letting the gap widen, enjoying the anticipation. Then, he turned slightly to the left. A shortcut, a barely visible path she didn't know about was his way to win this chase. With a grin, he veered off, speeding up.

Halfway to the cabin, she threw a glance over her shoulder, but Elias wasn't behind her, in fact he was nowhere to be seen. She slowed down for a moment thinking. It could only mean two things:

She was winning!

Or...

He was cheating.

She didn't have to guess which one was more likely, she already knew the answer. She looked around, scanning the green scenery until she saw him, emerging from the side of the path much closer than he should be.

"Damn it!" she hissed as she sped up. He instructed her not to divert from the main path, while his own rule didn't apply to him. She furrowed. Well, if he could play dirty, so could she.

He ran towards her, shorting the distance. He got so close, she could feel his breath on her neck, it almost made her panic. But just as he caught up and reached out to grab her arm, she whipped around, her long nails extended like claws, scratching him. The unexpected attack caught him off guard. He felt a sharp pain on his hand as her nails raked across his skin. He stumbled back, cursing under his breath.

She grinned and using the momentary advantage dived into the undergrowth beside the path. She hidden behind a large oak, trying to catch her breath. She knew he'd seen her, but the dense foliage would make it difficult for him to grab her easily.

For a moment neither of them moved, taking a break and calculating their next step.

She saw him leaned against the rough bark of the tree next to hers, a low chuckle escaping his lips. "Nice one." he glanced at his wounded hand, his voice raspy. "Seems the kitten has sharp claws."

She looked at him, her muscles tensed, ready to react if he came any closer. But he didn't plan to, at least not for now. But he slightly shifted towards her as if taunting her with unclear moves.

"Don't even think about it, Elias." she warned him. "Another step closer, and these claws come out again."

"Think about what? Winning the chase?" his voice was filled with excitement and smugly confidence, ignoring her threat. "Don't you think I've already did? There's no way you can outrun me, I'll catch you."

She could tell that he was enjoying it way beyond sanity and obviously more than her. But his confidence wasn't all that delusional. He had an upper hand, he knew that terrain better than her and he was fast. But even so, she wasn't going to make it easy for him, or worse, just give up. He was making a mockery of this whole thing, turning a simple chase into a power play, and it only made her more determined to win.

Carefully, she peeked around the oak, taking in the scene before her. The path leading to the cabin stretched out ahead. It was her only clear route, and she knew damn well that he knew it too. But getting on that path meant partly passing by him and that was out of the question. He would catch her.

Her mind raced, trying to find a way to reach the cabin first, before he could cut her off.

He, on the other hand, seemed content to remain by the tree, his amusement evident in his wide stretched lips. He was patiently waiting for her next move.

"You know." he taunted. "You're making this awfully difficult for yourself. All that scratching, all that hiding… wouldn't it be easier to just admit defeat?"

She ignored him, his words meant only to distract her. She wouldn't fall for it. She needed to focus on searching a way to outsmart him.

"Or maybe you are enjoying this." he continued "The chase, the adrenaline, the anticipation… it can be exhilarating, can't it? You try so hard to escape, but the thing is..." he paused as he smirked at her, catching eye contact with her. "eventually you reach to the point where you realize that you secretly want to be caught."

She stood still and didn't response, her lips was a thin line. He was fishing for a reaction, a confirmation of his own twisted pleasure, but she refused to give it to him. He wasn't right, his words meant nothing. She didn't join this chase, this game, only to be caught. Her intention was to win and to make him lose.

Right?

She shook her head to redirect her thoughts on what was more important than his diversion. Her eyes landed on a fallen branch, thick and heavy, laying beside her.

A risky idea, but it could work, she thought.

Slowly, ever so slowly out of his sight, she lowered herself. She reached out and grasped the branch. It was heavier than she expected, but that was ok.

Keeping it behind her back so he couldn't see she carefully emerged from behind the oak.

"Finally admitting defeat, are we?" he called out as he crossed his arms.

She took a deep breath and a few more steps towards him, not losing him from her sight. She wasn't sure if she actually wanted to hit him or just scare him, but it didn't matter. With a single swift move, she launched the branch with all her might. It hurtled through the air, losing leaves that were falling to the ground. The branch missed his head only by inches, but it made him hunch over. He yelped in surprise, momentarily stunned by the unexpected attack. That was all she needed.

"Ha, maybe I am enjoying this." She sneered as she launched herself towards the path, passing him quickly before he could even realize what had happened.

Had it been enough? Would the distraction buy her enough time? She didn't even look back to check, her entire focus was on putting as much distance between her and Elias as possible. The finish line, the cabin porch, seemed far away, but she felt like she already won a small victory. She had outsmarted him, twice, even if for a moment, and hadn't let him catch her. And that brief act of cunning gave her confidence and strength that Elias had taken away from her the moment he'd locked her in the cabin.

She smiled as she saw the porch, even though her lungs burned with a wild fire. Sweet, sweet victory was so close that she forgot what this chase was even about.

She forgot that she was supposed to run away from the cabin, not wanting to run to it.

She couldn't see it, but it was a clever way of making her craving to do the exact opposite of what she wanted to or should do in the first place.

But the true victory, it seemed, wasn't meant for her. A loose shoelace that had somehow unraveled during her run, sent her sprawling to the ground, surprising her with unexpectedness. A choked cry escaped her lips as the landing was almost as painful as losing the chase because of the stupid shoelace.

"Fuck." She growled with anger and pain, trying to catch a breath. She had been so close, so very close, that when she looked up at the cabin, she couldn't let it go. She couldn't just give up. Scrambling to her feet, she ignored the sting of her scraped knees and palms and pushed herself up, trying to move forward.

But it was too late already. Whatever advantage she'd had with time and distance was gone. Suddenly she felt a rush of wind, and then a body slammed against her, turning her around and pinning her back to the ground. Elias loomed over her, keeping her body from moving, holding her hands, so she didn't scratch him again. His chest was heavy with exertion and his eyes blazing with a mix of excitement, satisfaction and enjoyment.

"Well, well." he rasped. "Close call. You almost made it."

Almost was the key word. The disappointment was visible on her face, though the anger she'd expected to feel simply wasn't there. Was it because of exhaustion or was the anger extruded by other emotions, she didn't know.

She looked at him and didn't move. Not that she could with the weight of his body pressing her to the ground, but she didn't even try to. She laid there underneath the man who captured her...again, and slowly accepted defeat. She glanced at his loose curls hanging off of his forehead and a slow smile spreading across his lips. And he held her gaze with intensity and some kind of anticipation.

The tension was there, they could both feel it. The exertion, adrenaline, and sheer satisfaction from a good chase made the air around them thick.

And while she wasn't sure how to interpret it, he knew exactly what had caused it.

And he knew exactly where it was leading to.

He could see the anticipation in her eyes, an uncertainty mingled with desire. He leaned in closer, the space between them shortened as he looked at her parted lips.

He could have it. He knew it. One lean in, a brush of his lips against hers, and he wouldn't be surprised if she surrendered, if she met his kiss with a similar urge. It would be a victory, a prize to claim for him. A confirmation that she was his, even if only for a fleeting moment.

But he held himself back. Was it what he really wanted? An easy victory? A temporary gratification? A simple kiss?

There was a growing desire within him, a hunger awakened by the chase that he couldn't deny. But it was more than just a physical yearning. Definitely more than claiming only her lips. But he craved a deeper kind of control over her. He wanted her submission, a complete submission, but not as a result of exhaustion or confusion.

He wanted her yearning for him, maybe even begging. That would be more satisfactory than giving in to a brief moment of compulsive urge.

His smile slowly switched into a teasing smirk as he saw a confused look in her eyes. He leaned in close enough to whisper to her ear.

"Not yet, beautiful." he murmured, his words sending a shiver down her spine. "Be patient. There'll be time for it when you be ready." he continued, his voice switched to a seductive murmur. "When you realize there's no escape from this."

He released her slowly and got up. As he straightened, his gaze lingered on her for a beat longer before he left her, heading towards the cabin. The kiss, the sex he craved, would come. He'd make sure of that.

Still laying on the ground, internally, Evelyn was screaming. So close. He'd been so close! The heat from his body, the spark in his eyes, the way he'd leaned in, it was undeniable!

A part of her, the one that scared her, had wanted his lips on hers, the press of his body against hers... It would have been a surrender, a concession, but in that charged moment, it had felt… necessary, natural.

But then when she'd thought he'd go for it, he'd pulled away. Why? She was perplexed. Not only by his sudden change of mind, but by her own emotions. Should she feel relief? Frustration? Disappointment? She couldn't quite tell.

On one hand, she was glad that nothing had happened. On the other however...

She couldn't trust herself. Not entirely. What if he tried again? What if she let him? That would be a big complication to her already complicated situation, a problem not easy to be solved.

But the fact that she would have let him kiss her was a problem on its own, wasn't it?

She quickly got up from the ground, brushed herself off and with a growl of frustration pushed past Elias. She stormed inside the cabin, not even looking back at him. The bathroom, a cold shower against her heated skin, was exactly what she needed.

Ignoring his eyes following her, she slammed the bathroom door shut, leaning against them for a moment, hoping that cold water helped her wash down a lingering tension.

She undressed herself and checked the scratches and bruises on her knees and hands before stepped under the shower. But as the icy water cascaded down her body, numbing her skin but not her thoughts, she knew the desire wouldn't disappear so easily.

[libbee]

Hii ❤️ if u don't mind me asking , I heard from an astrologer that venus in 8th house people will get their heart broken at least ones ( like this will happen ), what do u think ? What do u think ?

Hello,

Venus in 8th house signifies many things (1) karmic relationship which means attracting partners who resemble the childhood pattern you had with your caretaker (2) controlling, toxic, psychically penetrating, power control relationship (3) trauma, death and rebirth, transformation and healing.

What makes venus in 8th house so self destructive is the destiny/fate/life pattern/life events that happen similarly in all natives with this placement. No matter if they were born in Japan or Great Britain, all venus in 8th house natives will live similar life themes especially in terms of romance because venus (1) rules libra/7th house and taurus/2nd house (2) venus signifies romance, emotions, relationship contract and (3) venus is concerned with wealth, luxury, sensual pleasures and comfort of life.

What makes 8th house so special is that (1) house of death and rebirth, the two most sacred events of life (2) house of transformation and change which is the law of nature just how a seed sprouts into a plant then grows into a tree and bears fruits.

When we are young, naive, immature, we fear change, our expectations are that of 'hopeless romantic forever love', we confuse 'validation seeking and codependency with love', we are 'narcissistic and think that how you make me feel is called love', our expectations are that of fantasy and what we see in movies is what we think is love.

Venus in 8th house is the blessing in disguise because it helps you see how fictitious your beliefs and ideas were. It helps you see that the people in this world are living blindly and ignorantly. It opens your intuitive side and probes you into the depths of the psyche.

Yes, venus in 8th house does give heart break because the relationships are based in impulsivity, irrational, emotional, magical attitude. It is not the person you enter in relationship with but their fantasy, an image, an ideal. You are a damsel in distress who falls in trauma bond with a fictitious messiah, not the real person. Once you heal from this heart break, you are spiritually empowered, emotionally intelligent and psychically transformed. You mature into a stronger and better version of yourself. You are fearless, aware of your mortality and really powerful because you know what it feels like to die and reborn. What happens is that a young venus in 8th houser is a pick me girl who matures into a queen energy.

Before heart break: Venus in 8th houser girl is broken, attachment issues, insecure, clingy, confused, magical thinking, thinks her hero will rescue her/fix her/save her; "we settle with the love we think we deserve"; doormat girl and all this happens because she has not done any self work. She is so so insecure, it is tragedy.

After heart break: She really really matures. Her psychological maturity is magnetic and powerful. She is psychically penetrating and can see the undertones of energy in people. Now she is secure in herself, she knows her worth, values her time, lives with the flow of energy, is passionate, deep, intense and so wise. She knows emotional patterns because she spends a lot of time in self introspection, finding meaning in life, seeing interconnection between people and events, she is a healer and someone who is really into the exploration of subconscious and unconscious treasures. This is a drastic transformation and ideally this will take a long time but it is the final product.

And then you attract another partner, one who resembles your new emotional patterns and this is much much satisfying relationship. I am not making it up, if you have venus in 8th house, be assured you will feel these words in your soul when it happens to you. It is as if all venus in 8th housers speak the same language. The magical thinking that probes venus in 8th housers in traumatic relationship is the same magical thinking that they later use in divination, astrology, tarot, witchcraft. They learn to put their magical gift to better use that is esoteric and spirituality. You see how the ladies who are into esoteric and occult fields are so confident, self-righteous in a good way and are really deep/calming/peaceful. Even the men with venus in 8th house also are very much into spirituality, occult and esoteric.

[measureformeasure]

@lesbiancassius' (very late) february reads

yes I will do this monthly now.

books (as it turns out, I was busy. one book)

Enter Ghost, Isabella Hammad - An actor, Sonia, returns to visit her sister Haneen in Haifa and gets caught up in playing Gertrude in a Hamlet production in the West Bank. Stellar.

short fiction & poetry

Why Don’t We Just Kill the Kid in the Omelas Hole, Isabel J. Kim - obsessed with this on title alone. It has such a feel to it in the way it moves that I envy.

Parthenogenesis, Piya Patel - horror that makes me want to peel out of my skin and/or get a hysterectomy.

Eschatology, Eve L. Ewing - poem that was circulating recently and God. Fuck, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

Ouroboros, Megan Xing - The to-do lists in this got me because I was having my little freak out before my show went up where you think you can fix everything with to-do lists. Also heavily feeling replacing ineffective psych meds with yogurt, a pickle, and two advil.

I also read Cancer Buffet by Mary Hannah Terzino and Soft Opening by Elle Nash, but I was tired and don’t remember them.

(some) articles

Who Was Barbie? (A Symposium), n+1 magazine - this cemented to me that I truly, truly do not care about Barbie or the Barbie movie and if I have to hear anything about it ever again I'm smashing a bowl on purpose

A bunch of Hera Lindsay Bird’s advice column, which is delightful.

Let’s talk about Goodreads, Nicole Brinkley. There are many days I am glad I do not want to pursue a career as solely an author of novels. Godspeed to the authors out there you're braver than I will ever be.

Saving a Life, Patricia Lockwood - my god I have got to read a Patricia Lockwood book, and also my god getting grievously ill on vacation is one of my greatest fears so this one made me a little bit crazy.

The Secret Life: On the poet Molly Brodak, Patricia Lockwood - again, my god, I need to read a Patricia Lockwood book.

A Final Checklist Before You Print up Your Play, Rick Roberts - this reminded me so much of Joshua McGuire’s Rules For Writing Libretto, which I think of a lot.

“I think the word is dignity” — Rachel Corrie’s Letters from Gaza — I don’t know what to say. Read these if you can. They’re striking.

The Sexual Status of Aeschylus’ Cassandra, Paula Debnar - I can put an academic paper here you're not the boss of me. why I opened this one I don't remember but I was fervently texting friends in the middle of a certainly unrelated class about it because I've never been normal about Kassandra and Klytemnestra and I'm not going to start now.

tv/movies

Rewatching Severance, slowly.

Rewatching Sort Of, less slowly - this is probably niche to non-Canadian readers but it is a very good show.

Watched The Prince, which was a long time coming, and then wrote a paper about it. Bless.

tbr/nightstand

in the midst of Salvage the Bones, which is of course very good

Helen of Troy: from Homer to Hollywood

I'm gonna be rereading like every play off my Shakespeare class syllabus for the final which I wish I was more excited about

[fayrobertsuk]

Carpe Caput, not Kaput...

... or something.

The other evening, a new acquaintance was asking advice in a group about how to make a solid go of it in a creative field I'm only just starting to peer into, so I felt I had nothing to offer, but actually, in hindsight? I'm pretty sure a lot of the same advice applies to pretty much most creative fields (and possibly broader), so here goes:

Show up. I'm serious. Practise, try new methods, work hard at your craft. Put in the hours. Turn up to events, reliably. If you're booked for something, turn up on time. Check what the producer/ host means by "on time" - too early can be as stressful for them as too late. If you need to cancel, postpone, or let them know you're running late, do your best to tell them that well in advance of the event starting. They probably won't be able to take messages otherwise. This goes whether you're an open mic attendee or a headliner, and everything else in between. If you do this too much, don't expect people to ignore that, no matter how nice and/ or talented you might be.

Be helpful, polite, and/ or personable. If you struggle with what that looks like, for neurospicy or other social anxiety/ processing reasons, the best, very best thing you can do for a producer is ask what they need and pay attention to what they actually say, especially if you can give a short list of the kind of things you know you're good at doing. Including fetching refreshments for in-venue events. Hell, offering to keep them company while they do a boring-but-fiddly thing it would take too long to explain to other people is great. Do not be offended if they say no at first. They don't know you. You haven't turned up enough for them to form an impression of your utility. The same goes for compliments - work out what actually makes them feel pleased about themselves or their work, which means observing. Fending off meaningless/ unwanted compliments can get really tiring.

Thank people. It's amazing how far properly and sincerely thanking people goes. This applies so far across the board, and not just in the arts. Doesn't have to be elaborate or embarrassingly effusive, but genuine thanks are a wonderful gift.

Take criticism, but don't take shit. I have stolen this phrasing from an excellent producer I know. It's a really succinct way of putting something it took me a long while to learn. Take opportunities to learn from people who know better than you, but don't feel you're supposed to please everyone at every turn, whether they're the producer or you're the producer, especially if it means sacrificing too many bits of your own psyche, let alone any of your own soul. You can leave a situation without sacrificing everything. Which leads us to:

Not everyone is going to like you. They're just not. You're not going to be to everyone's taste. That's fine. I do not mean by this to aim to become some tedious edgelord. There are already far too many of those. I just mean: let go of the grief that comes with incompatibility. Use it to learn how to choose your targets better, but don't let it rule you. RSD is a bastard, but it generally doesn't have all the facts. Be prepared to let go with grace. Talking of which:

Don't be afraid to ask for feedback/ give it if asked. You never know. And see #4.

You are going to fuck up. Own it. Learn from it. Process and communicate the lessons. Don't let it stop you striving (but do let it stop you being a dick about it).

Don't burn your bridges. I can barely believe I'm typing this on the internets in the year 2024, but holy shit - making a life as a creator is hard enough without alienating people. And creators look out for each other so yes: people will talk if you start flinging insults and other harm around when someone doesn't give you what you want. Stop. Think. Outsource your common sense to a proper friend (i.e. one who will tell you that you're overreacting) if necessary. Do not publicly insult other producers and creatives in your field. If someone has done grievous hurt to you, of course talk to other people about it, but please, for the love of all that's holy, if you find all your friends giving up on you, one-by-one or in droves, you need to stop, breathe, find another way, work out how you can (re)construct rather than (self-)destruct in the wake of a disappointment. I do not mean to ignore or play down actual harm done to you. Emphatically not. Just consider whether e.g. not getting an opportunity you really, really wanted is actually a conspiracy, or maybe you didn't learn from some spectacular #7...

Acknowledge your privilege. Probably preaching to choir here on Tumblr, but if you find yourself envying people of less privilege than you, saying "Huh, I don't get booked because I'm not [insert marginalised demographic here]!" you definitely want to stop and consider your motives, and what your brain is actually telling you. Are you missing community? Are you missing cohesion? Are you missing feeling special? You're a fucking artist - you're already special, and there's a great deal of community to be found, even if you think your work/ style/ taste is too niche. Possibly especially if you think your work/ style/ taste is too niche. But if you find yourself putting effort into believing that there's truly a conspiracy to put [insert mainstream demographic(s) here] out of work or out of the limelight, I hate to tell you this, but you're not coming from a place of good faith at all. Work out what the actual problem is, and solve that. But not by joining the fascists. Please. Those people are not your friends.

Don't quit the dayjob. I learned this the hard way. Whatever your Next Great Move is, try it out first in bitesize increments. Unless you're independently wealthy, in which case fucking go for it. And maybe share some of the wealth while you're at it. 😉 Sometimes we don't have much of a choice and we have to make a go of the creative career because of diverse Difficult Times. If that happens, don't be afraid to ask for help. Seriously. Ask for help.

I'm manifestly not the world's most successful poet/ musician/ voice artist/ storyteller/ publisher/ event promoter, and I've definitely screwed up a bunch of times (although I sincerely hope I haven't done an #8 or #9!), but I think these are reasonably sensible things to take into account (and I need to work harder on many of them myself). The thing is: I've seen too many people founder on their own entitlement with too little to back it up. I've witnessed people succumb to the temptation to steal ideas, sometimes word-for-word, because certain measures of success seemed more important than creative integrity and pride in their own work. I've seen people burning their bridges and then complain very loudly about the smoke inhalation. I've seen people surrender to jealousy and untapped depths of bigotry because they felt lonely and out of place. And I've seen people act as though no-one else is real and this means that they can take whatever their ego demands they be fed.

None of these things work for long, and none of them seem to satisfy - there will always be something missing in the attention and stimulation these dark paths cast an artist's way. And I'd feel sorry for all of them, if the more extreme exemplars weren't causing awful damage as they go.

Anyway, if you've more to add, please do so - no matter how slowly, sometimes, I do love to learn!

[philtstone]

writing patterns tag game

Rules: post the last sentence from your 10 most recently posted fics (less if you don't have 10 is also fine).

tagged by @measuredmisura -- thank you!! yall ... i'm so consistent lol

Psych

forever we'll be you and me (part 2 of the catch me if you can au) -- Juliet calls that something sincere and kisses Shawn again.

check yes, juliet (part 1 of the catch me if you can au) -- And, in spite of herself, Juliet grins.

we close our eyes and dream (the world has turned around again) -- And he leans in and kisses her again.

Anne of Green Gables

oh, lover boy -- And it won't really be that -- Anne loves Diana too much to want anything but the best and happiest for her -- but she is comforted, all the same.

Outlander

what makes my heart into a kite -- He’s more concerned with somehow getting Dr. Claire Beauchamp’s phone number – and somehow, he’s pretty sure the Ghost would approve.

Lord of the Rings

half wordless, half in elven-tongue -- Like a lover from a story, there in the starlit dark of her Grandmother’s House.

and my family lives in a different state -- Arwen smiles back, and spoons some lentils into a little bowl.

they call me baby driver (part 2 of the hippie camp counsellor au) -- And by the time the door is flung open and Eowyn and Faramir pounced upon by overexcited tweenagers, she is properly laughing.

all my sorrows started to smile -- “I did,” Arwen says, and turns to hold his eye. “I do.” 

and i've seen time tell tales about that -- “So …” begins Pippin's voice again after a moment, emerging from the cheerful bustle and chatter around them. “How long do we think, 'til Faramir and Eowyn sneak off?"

tagging @firstelevens @sesamestreep @tllgrrl @flyinghome-againstthewind and anyone else who wants to have a go!

[theinsanecrayonbox]

Sabretooth War part 10

alrighty kids, we are FINALLY at the end of this mess. we all agree it won't be satisfactory, but let's see just how much of a let down it really is

It was 28* pages. the whole book was 55 pages. an average issue is 22 pages. i get it, it's the 50th milestone, and we're also doing the Wolverine anniversary, but sill... (*there are several splash pages/2-page spreads so my reader read those as singular pages, so it might more more??)

also, this is kinda one of the most lack luster out of the covers for this saga. it's not that engaging, it's kinda stock posed (especially for them) and it's just...not cool? we're at issue #50, we're doing anniversary stuff, this should be more appealing

we pick up where we left off; Logan vs Graydon on the beach while the Pit Gang and X-Force have ringside seats. Graydon saying his only goal in life is to be a wiener; yes, that's fine. Logan admitting he's a terrible parent after it's pointed out; that is good. Logan trying to talk Graydon into being a good guy; no. when Logan has done nothing but tear down Victor into being something pure evil that has no chance of redemption, as an immutable taint on existence itself, why would he assume anything connected to him could be anything good? do i think that; pft no, but i think Graydon's a wiener. but we're not talking about my perception, we're talking about Logan's and everyone in-universe. they all believe that the Creeds are vile and should be erased, that every bad action they have ever committed, no matter the reasoning behind it, is punishable. Graydon should NOT be exempt from that idea (not to mention he IS that terrible, deserves that treatment, and has NEVER tried to be anything other than that)

oh shutup, it would indeed

oh...never mind, the wiener boy is taken out IMMEDIATELY WITH NO FANFARE OR ANYTHING. WHY DID WE DEVOTE PLOT TO HIM IF HE'S USELESS AND WORTHLESS??? you built him up to be a big bad, but nope, he died like a wiener like he always does. i'd be less mad about this if we hadn't devoted such a big deal to his return and betrayal and yaddayadda. because you know what; those pages could've been used to develop the SabreSquad, or to delve into Vic's psyche better, or heck even give the Pit Gang or X-Force more to do (yes i'd've been hap[pier to have given more time to make the OTHER superfluous parts more important). but no, we have Victor's biggest regret in life show up to highlight his own shortfalls and vulnerabilities...to just get unceremoniously stabbed and dead yet again. he made no impact on anything, aside from a board wipe that could've been completed with those idiotic Stark Sentinels.

there is indeed no justice in this world

Logan's line could be impactful of we'd ACTUALLY took the time to point out the times he HAD CARED about people, and contrasted that against how his acre for them were their ultimate doom. we BRIEFLY touched that with Birdy, Holo, Bonnie, and heck even Graydon; he cared for each of them, and as a result they each died...and in the case of Graydon he sacrificed his own humanity to save him from hell only to see wiener boy not make something better of himself; with that second chance but just perpetuate the Creed curse of self hate taken out on the world enmass. seeing THAT should've been heart breaking. instead we get a dick measuring contest

but see that's the thing, this isn't about Victor's tortured psyche and his fall from grace, this is about "those with the powers make the rules" and "might makes right" and "unhinged animal vs the calm of man" or something, because of those lines up there, "You got no powers little man" "I don't need powers to put you down"

their powers are being animals; Victor has always embraced and not denied his nature, while Logan has always had to "fight the animalistic urges" and thus has made himself the pariah that all love. now he doesn't have that crutch; he has no powers, he is just man, while Victor has looked inward and rejected his own humanity to embrace nothing but the animalistic rage and power that brings. it is savagery vs civilized. but it's not done well, not at all...

good ra that was all before the opening text crawl X.x

last cast lineup, and Arkady is still absent despite being on screen, while Aurora and Northstar are still present despite not being in the book since part 2 or 3

no, nothing on the island works, where have you been

who are you to talk Mr OC, we still don't know you, none of us know you and none of you actually know Victor

i can't...i can't keep commentating on every little thing...

oh that's nice, a panel of Laura and Arkady fighting together to distract and calm me down (does he not have a ponytail?? is that one of my hair styles???)

we leave the B Teams to deal with the remainder of the Sentinels, so Victor and lure Logan away from them to go fight alone in the jungle. ok, fine, movement, logical progression for the stupid in progress. ok. we're in the Blob's tiki bar i think? fight scene, mysterious tunnel, mk......to the Council of Dumb's chambers. wtf. actually you know what, no, idc; the island is fallen into ruins, screw logical architecture. fine, Council chamber

he's mind melded with the Pit. i...fine. makes enough sense, eat Logan now please

he's not gonna stay down there though is he?

oh look another panel composed to distract and calm me down strategically placed (who's watching me????)

so yeah, Logan's gets eaten by the Pit and internal monologs about how Vic isn't playing fair by doing this now (baby >< )

the skewed panel borders are a very nice subtle unnerving detail; kuddos layout team

that aside, interesting that that's Zora/Silver Fox II

i am actually into this sequence...to bad it's cut far too short

i'll assume it's because of Tom they got pulled out, but where'd Laura's backup mask come from?

oh no it was the Cuckoo. that's dumb. you're dumb

X-Force all gangs up on Victor while eth Pit Gang sits back and smirks, and Cuckoo is going all holier and mightier than thou until Logan says "leave him to me"...

oh and he has his powers back because the Forge Armor had a Deus ex Machina in it to fix him. so once again, another highly built up plot point of super duper importance is just swept away pointlessly

splash page of pointlessness!

and another

sadly that's how the writers think about YOU Victor

so Logan cuts off Vic's hands, then move sin for the killing blow with the internal monolog being all "this is for my friends and family and all the people you ever hurt blahblahblah"

why is Graydon on the symbolic revenge reflection? he was a BAD GUY WHO WANTED TO MURDER YOU. i just...i can't, this is dumb

and he's dismembered. i'm not going to show that because i have used far too many images already and it's not even that intriguing. Logan is standing over a dismembered pile of Victor with a satisfied smirk while the B Teams stand behind him also smirking, and there's an angelic triumphant glow as if this is all super good and was super hard. all hail our infallible savior Wolverine >>

epilogue time; Cuckoo and sitting on a cliff with Quinthead (don't worry he gets better), the Pit Gang fly off into the sunset (don't worry Pya comes back), Logan stares into said sunset internal monologuing about how Krakoa was the best ever and he's learned to love again or something (i can't be bothered to care at this point) before looking to X-Force and taking up leadership of them for the umpteenth time.

SO as a FINALE to this whole 10 part saga...it's about on par with the rest. overly graphic for the sake of unpleasantness, and sacrificing actual character depth to make Logan look like the best eva and Vic is the ultimate evil that needs to be put down foreva and eva. as a Finale to the Lavalle trilogy...it's terrible. it was completely mishandled, so many threads started and left loosely hanging. what little character depth it had was probably from Lavalle, but he should've touched it more. this was a story that we've done before; we didn't tread on any new ground. the biggest new thing was the over the top gratuitous gore fest and that is not appealing. being unpleasant for the sake of being unpleasant is not appealing.

and honestly, i'm sticking to my conspiracy theory that Arkady was supposed to not appear in this at all. the panels in this issue were less drawn in afterwards to me, BUT his contributions were very nil and his inclusion did not add anything.

uhg i have half this issue left for just bonus Logan celebration stuff...do i care enough to do it? ok, sure, summaries though

Mutants on the edge of town: well it looks 97ish. some soda shop jerk kid has a Sentinel in hid barn...i find it very sus that doesn't know/recognize it as a Sentinel, but whatever. Logan and Jubes check it out and it wakes up so fight. interesting that it could detect heterochromia and defines THAT as a mutation worth capturing, thought it went after X-genes. but it blows up, the end. it's a fine enough bonus story i guess.

Endless: ah Percy, still at it with the overlt dramatic internal monolpg that sounds super deep and important but is just not. however i give you, he's Logan your life is one giant circle because we must repeat reapeat repeat.

oh...ok i know i said no pics for these, but this...this i liek and approve. you actually acknowledge that Arkady has become a good boy and that Beast is terrible. i...ok i give you a point for this sequence, thank you.

other than that, it's kind of an even more abridged Life of, but also the goodbye letter i guess since this is Percy's last run with Logan (except it's not)

then there's his actual good bye letter. and then solicits for other wolverine to read until the new titles launches in Sept with some previews that look very similar to Origin...repeatrepeatrepeat

so once again, the easiest summery: Victor is dead-dead yet again (he was decapitated, so there's a chance it'll stick (but Savage wasn't decapitated...) ), Arkady isn't dead and still with X-Force, Daken is dead-dead, Laura 2 is not dead, Graydon is dead yet again, and Logan sucks. the end

now to wait for August with the anniversary special *dead*

[mr-laveau]

5+1 headcanons!

tagged by the glorious @gingerbreadmonsters to share my headcanons soooo guess we're doing that! Heyyyyyy @agentplutonium , @dominimoonbeam and @soup-scope , no pressure but I'm curious about what's in those noggins

rules: share 5 redactedverse headcanons you hold, plus 1 headcanon you're still working on!

Darlin used to be in a band with Quinn & Honey - They were called Rose n' Thorns, Darlin went under the alias Rose as the lead vocalist, Quinn was Thorns, the backup vocalist and Honey was the drummer. They were a metal rock band that blended the genre with Japanese lyrics in their songs (yes, this specifically is pulling on my Darlin, Darren Lancer)

Damien walks around his own place nude, he'll even sunbathe nude if he can. I couldn't tell you why I have this headcanon, I just have it. I think he just likes the suns rays or something, idk but none of the DAMN polycule mind it at all.

Daemons/Demons don't naturally have a set appearance as a race, their astral and physical forms are based on their psyche (traumas, personas, likes, core traits) thus none of them will ever share distinct traits regardless of being of the same classification. Some will look completely alien, others will look mostly human and some have fluid appearances.

OK SO GINGER METNIONING IMPERIUM BROUGHT THIS UP FOR ME. Shades are dead folk from imperium trying to steal life in order to materialize their form so that they can get another chance at a better life in the prime universe.

Morgan loves butterflies, it's his special interest. I don't think he has them framed but like he has notebooks filled with drawings and notes of different butterflies and what makes them all unique. Oh and Morgan is autistic.

PLUS 1!

Not a headcanon but I never said I played these games fairly ;3 I'm currently rewriting Vincent to be more interesting IMO. Don't get me wrong, I love him but making him a mentally ill nihilist with a tendency for over indulgence and recklessness that masks that with a rich kid persona is so fun and I won't apologize for it. I just think it makes him more fun and allows for his growth and change to mean more while he struggles with taking accountability for his actions,

[xenosagaepisodeone]

the thing is though that these checklists don’t mean if you have BPD it is not allowed that you have nightmares / if you have CPTSD you are legally obligated to never experience impulsiveness etc etc; it’s not just “making stuff up” — though ig in the strictest sense yeah, first you make stuff up but then you test it and see if your hypotheses align with the population. Basically chances are if you meet 8/9 BPD criteria and some for CPTSD but not enough to meet the diagnostic standard (which afaik isn’t recognized just yet but i think they’re trying to get it recognized in the diagnostic manuals but correct me if i’m wrong) then it’s pretty likely you’re going to respond better to BPD treatment and ALSO if your practitioner completely ignores one diagnosis in favor of the other they’re probably not that good at their job. Psychology doesn’t speak in “rules” and absolutes, it speaks in trends and likelihoods and everyone trying to sell you a 100% true and immovable psychology fact is a sham

as someone who unfortunately has a degree in psychology (and whose undergrad began right as the infamous replication crisis became more widely acknowledged in the field), yes, historically a lot of this field is bias and hegemony imbued with some metric. when homosexuality was still classified as a mental disorder, the conversion therapy program by masters and johnson (who were like, some of the earliest pioneers of research into human sexual responses lmao) would often boast high success rates due to participants merely adopting signifiers of heterosexuality. the modern day pop psychology movement (and it's subfields, new ageism, self help books, uhhh Market Christianity) also cannot be disentangled from academic psychology, which further bends the way in which people understand and interact with psychological phenomena. this of course does not mean that all data is junk data, or that methods of measurement are without some rigor, or that therapy is completely useless, but it's just patently incorrect to insist that this field is even predominantly an apolitical force attempting to further our understanding of human beings. it's bizarre that you acknowledge that credentialized individuals in the field can be flawed while also being uncritical of psychological categorization for mental illness.

It's not that I don't get what you're saying, but it's not reflective of reality. yes, I know that practitioners are supposed to help you feel out your symptoms and see what treatment works for you, but that isn't just what they're doing (assuming it's even being done with care and competence). it's inaccurate to insist that psychology doesn't speak in absolutes- I know that we are taught not to do this, but for any social science related field this is the equivalent of going "stop hitting yourself". in any practical real-world setting where accredited institutional psychology is present, there are rules. in a clinical setting, there are rules, and you can be inpatiented against your will for breaking those rules (or recently here in canada, randomly stripped of your driver's license). in neuromarketing (<- yes this is a real discipline.), which is intensively oriented towards results due to the profit incentive, there are rules. the conditions of release for many offenders necessitates staying on court-mandated medication or participating in specific programs. when H.B. Phrenology from The Heritage Foundation wheels out his thousandth manicured study on crime and race (and when a different journal publishes a study indirectly debunking it), that is him tacitly acknowledging that there are rules.

anyway did I ever tell you guys that in my first year at University of Toronto (UTSC campus baybee) they brought in a guest speaker to my abnormal psych course who gave us a lengthy talk on how autogynephilia theory is objectively true. this was like 2013ish maybe 2014 btw.

[moonlight-tmd]

do you have any aus that you'd like to share that we don't know? I don't want this to sound pushy, I just want something to read :']

hah nah it's fine! i do have some ideas i have not shared yet- mostly cuz i think it's way too unfitting for the franchise. So lemme get my list first;

There is the Cyberbeast AU, Warframe!Bumblebee AU, Civil!Blitzwing AU, Part-Insecticon!Bumblebee AU, Cons Are Good AU and apparently the Crack AU where everything is chaos.

Now there were few ideas i had but decided 'ya know what, nobody would want to read it anyway', it's mostly about Bumblebee cuz i love that gremlin but here you go!

-Sparkeater!Bumblebee AU: There is a disease of unknown origin on Cybertron called Sparkeater Disease which causes anybot to turn into a Sparkeated overtime. All of the cybertronians who were detected to have it were to be offlined for there is no actual cure for it- Bee has lived on the streets for his whole Sparklinghood, he is one of the bots that have the disease and avoided the extermination. Lucky for him, he found a way to delay the disease and make the hunger for Sparks ease- he needs to drink energon, a lot of it. When he goes to the boot camp he steals any energon there is, that's one of the reasons he got kicked out. When he enters the repair crew he masks it as it being a forging defect with his fuel lines- basically he's terminally ill. Ratchet takes the bait and provides him with emergency energon canteen bottle and gives him more energon. Whenever he starts feeling weak and is easily irritable, you know it's time for food. No one can know, or else it will be over for him. (Basically make him deadly and shove even more angst down his throat)

Now for the one-shot ideas that passes thru my mind:

-Bee as a God from another world, he doesn't have any powers outsite of his world so at one point the crew somehow ends up there and there is a rather cruel Demi-God that took over while Bee was absent. They have a duel and Bee is reavealed to be a God.

-Bee being a powerful creature from a different world- aka, the early version of Cyberbeast AU. Not much to say anout this.

-Bumblebee being an entertainer/host(ess) in a club after returning to Cybertron. Instead of going for the Elite Guard job after they save th Allspark, he goes into what he loved most- which is dressing up and performing. He basically owns a high-end club that's inspired by earth. (If you watch Helluva Boss then it's similar to Queen Bee's house, but dark with velvety colors. The name is "Honey Hive") (Blitz can possibly be one of the employees/entertainers as a form of rehab.)

-Bee having a twin sibbling but got separated with her when he got into Carequarters and them finding each other on earth. (her name would be "Mantis" i think, but that's more of an 'OC insert' territory)

-Bee with the ability to see ghosts. He was seemingly forged with it, maybe a gift from the Allspark. He sees ghosts everywhere but can't act on it with others around, he's had enough close calls when people thought he was crazy cuz he talked to himself. He never told anyone, he thinks he'll end up in psych ward or something. So it just comes and goes as a joke sometimes.

-Now the angsty one(BlitzBee mainly)- Somehow he ends up being so hurt and betrayed by his friends he joins the Decepticons and the 'cons win the war. The repair crew that fought them was supposed to be killed but they are left to be just a repair crew for unknown reason, oh and Sari takes Bee's spot now that she's techno-organic. Yes Prowl lives, nobody dies here. Years later, on Cybertron there needs to be a space brigde build and they go there and oops, now your boss is a revamped Bumblebee. Later is revealed that the building the space bridge it supposed to go is a new Carequarters. The team knows Bee is from Carequarters- anyway they go from not liking each other to being kinda friends again. The 'cons are not so bad at ruling over Cybertron anyway.

-Young Ratchet dating a Decepticon before the war, and them meeting again on earth when they're old. In this, the relationship with Arcee doesn't kick off for him. Again, an 'OC instert' thing.

-Bee was experimented on when he was little and was made a dormant killer machine- aka, the early version of Sparkeater!Bumblebee AU.

That's all for now, i don't think i will be doing much with the short-term ideas but the AU is interesting and i might do something with it. Feel free to ask about it.